The Easter Gift.

Easter. Good Friday. Resurrection Sunday. After awhile those words can come so commonplace within my own vocabulary that if I am not careful, I will become numb to the truth and reason why I celebrate this time of year. I definitely do not want to become numb to the greatest time and gift in history.

With an intense focus to think about the reason of the past few days, I am so grateful for Jesus Christ and his obedience to the plan of God, the Father. I cannot even begin to understand the depth of what Jesus went through in prayer, through the whips, through the beatings, through the hit of each nail. He did it all for me.

Not too many people know my story of knowing Jesus. After being a Christian for so long and being a leader amidst ministries, it is often times just assumed that my testimony belonged to God and his forgiveness. No one really asks because today I serve Him and know Him well.

The truth is I have often times hid my testimony because it did not seem flashy or so messed up that God's grace and mercy was huge. I was not involved in drugs, alcohol, or impure relationships when I gave my life to Christ. I was not the disobedient or rebellious child. I pretty much was laid back in life to just go with the flow. If I was told to do something, I pretty much did it without too much fuss. I was the smart one. I was the good one. I was the goody-little-two-shoes girl. In most people's minds, I was doing good and therefore I would not need a Savior. But behind the smiles, I was lost, alone, and scared. I was trying to find my place in this world and often times told I was not enough. That is where my testimony begins.

Even though I pretty much played by the rules of life, my parents, and school, all my good deeds and attitude did not earn my way into heaven or God's good graces. Despite all the good I had done or was doing, it would never be enough to pay the price that I owed. Despite all the good I could do, I was still empty. I still needed a Savior. I needed Him so much.

And you know what? I did not have to look to far to find Him. He had always been with me and when I finally took notice, I found Him standing right next to me, pursuing me with His amazing love and compassion, offer the gifts of grace and mercy and forgiveness if I would only accept. Accept I did.

Now almost seventeen years later on Easter Sunday my heart is full of gratitude for Jesus, the cross, for the resurrection, and for salvation. Can I truly say that God delivered me from addictions, from alcohol, from impure relationships? Yes and no. After I allowed God to have my life, I believe that God was my shield who protected me from making choices that would have destroyed me. What I also know is that God saved me from the depression that gripped my mind, from the loneliness that surrounded my heart, from the hate that burned inside, from the fear that immobilized me, and the despair that overwhelmed me.

Today as I praised and worship God, I was filled with such thankfulness and praise. He saved me. He gave me life. He gave me and is giving me abundant life. I serve a great God who gave His son and raised Him up from the grave. Today I love and serve a Risen Savior who loves me in return. That is the Easter gift.

One Answer Received.

After months of waiting and knocking on doors, I finally received word this past week that has now made the future path very known. I received a call from an admissions personnel at Fuller, informing me that I have been accepted into the MS program for Marital and Family Therapy.

I was highly expecting that phone call concerning that information. Almost everyone I knew kept telling me that I was a shoo-in and that I would be accepted without hesitation. But part of me kept holding back until I heard the official word because I know that God could have another plan.

But I also received news that I was not expecting. Along with the news of my acceptance, I was given the news that I was a recipient of one their scholarships. The value blew me away for it was not a small amount. All I could do is stand in awe and excitement at the news. God went beyond what I was expecting and praise Him daily for the news.

Chosen Nails

Passion burning
In silent obedience
As whips whistled
Through the air
Snapping and cracking
Lines went taut
Ripping skin and bone
Being pulled back
Evil taunts of hatred
Stirred the air
While weeping wails whirled
amidst desperate pleas
But battle of love
Pushed through the pain
The unknown journey
Of grace and truth
As fists pound
The face of love
Crowned thorns
Embraced eternal wisdom
Crushing beam
Of death upon the back
Love pouring from
Each faltering step
This journey began
Before the nails were picked
To pierce the hands
Of one man above

Thank you Lord Jesus for dying for me, taking the pain and sin upon the horrific death of the cross so that I can have eternal life with you. Your gift of salvation and grace is immeasurable but so precious to me.

A faith boost.

Every once in awhile I need a faith booster. One that shoots me full of adrenaline to keep me persevering in prayer, trust, and faith that God will answer me. This past weekend was such a boost.

For the past fifteen years, I lived in house that was truly a gift of God to my parents. And those of you who read this and were a part of Awakening know the house well. I think the highest I have ever had a party at my home was 40-50 people. Good times...and my father being the awesome dad that he is, kept the house so I could have a place to live as I stayed in Des Moines. Plus it gave my parents a place to stay when they visited.

After much prayer, I believed that God was leading me to California this past summer so we put the house up for sale. After several miracles of previous houses, we left for California full of faith that God will sell it. (Previous example: God sold our house in Panora the same day we moved into Des Moines.) We truly believed that God would do it again.

With the housing market as it is for sellers, the house has sat on the market since July with hardly any nibbles or bites. As you can imagine, the days that have slipped by has worn a bit of that faith down, wondering what plan God has for the house when my parents truly need it sold.

This past weekend we received word that we have a bid and the bid seems so promising. At a time when we did not think the house would be looked at, we received a bid. How awesome God is! With all the logistics to accomplish, I do not know if this bid will go through but just having it gave me a boost of faith to keep persevering in prayer for the buyers to come.

So for those of you who are praying for God to meet a need, reach a family or friend, answer a request, keep praying, seeking, and persevering. God is faithful to answer!

I AM.

And in the days to come, when you’re questioning, needing, searching, wondering, asking and struggling, you will find His sufficiency at the end of every desperate prayer. When you cry out all the things that you are not, you’ll know His answer is, “I AM.”

For every cry, there is one answer:

I need help. I AM.
I need hope. I AM.
Who could possibly be smart enough to figure this out? I AM.
What works? I AM.
What lasts? I AM.
What’s the latest thing? I AM.
What’s the hippest thing? I AM.
I need a fresh start. I AM.
I need a bigger story. I AM.
My vision is bigger than my resources. I AM.
Nothing’s real anymore. I AM.
Who can I trust? I AM.
I’m not sure who’s on my team. I AM.
Nobody’s listening to me. I AM.
I don’t have a prayer. I AM.
My marriage is sinking and I don’t know where to turn. I AM.
I can’t hold on. I AM.
My kids deserve more. I AM.
I’m pouring into others, who’s pouring into me? I AM.
If we fail, who will get the job done? I AM.
I’m not sure why I am here. I AM.
I’ve given all I can give and it’s not enough. I AM.
I’m tired. I AM.
I quit! I AM.
I can’t! I AM.
I need a drink. I AM.
I need a fix. I AM.
I need a lover. I AM.
Somebody just hold me. I AM.

(excerpt from "I am not but I know the I AM, by Louie Giglio.)

Battle of the Sexes.

The battle of the sexes…an interesting topic. It has been going on since the beginning of time. (The game is fun as well!) This past Sunday I saw a battle of the sexes that I have never seen before, and quite frankly, I was in awe and laughing at the same time. The setting was the best place of all, church.

For several weeks, the senior pastor has been asking the congregation to show him our bibles. So those in the congregation who had theirs would raise it up in the air. He would ask the floor to show theirs, then the balcony, then the women, and then the men.

This past Sunday he asked the congregation once again to show him our Bibles. He asked the men to show him the theirs and with a sea of hands and a roar of manly yells, the Bibles went up in the air. Then he asked for the women to share theirs. With shrieks of joy and a few dancing feet, the women raised their Bibles in the air with pride and joy. With a reluctant admission, the pastor claimed that the women had more Bibles than the men. Not to be outdone, the men stood up with yet more manly roars and Bibles in the air, proudly raising their swords of truth. To take it one step more, the women stood up with their Bibles waving in their hands and shrieks of joy to out do the men. This went on for almost five minutes. What a battle! What a fun and amazing battle to have!

I laughed as the women screamed and jumped and danced with their Bibles in their hands, excited to share the joy of God’s word. I was more in awe as the men matched and at times tried to outdo the women with having their Bibles. In a time when the roles of the sexes has often times left the women being the leaders and the men standing by to let them, to see men take the stand and proudly declare their faith, dependence, and joy in the word of God is an amazing sight to see.

The battle of the sexes for Bibles…that is one battle that should exist in our church today! I will share a little a secret that women scream daily…we would love it if the men would win every week.

You Are.

You Are…

You are the God of faithfulness
You are there before I call;
You are the God of love
When I sinned, you gave it all;
You are the God of grace
You accepted me as I came back to you;
You are the God of mercy
You spared the judgment I was due;
You are the God of patience
You’ve waited as, like You, I learned to be;
You are the God of peace
You calm the murky storms in me;
You are God, King and Saviour
In whom else do I trust but in you;
For in you, I am complete and whole
Where else can I go but to you?
You are…