The Easter Gift.

Easter. Good Friday. Resurrection Sunday. After awhile those words can come so commonplace within my own vocabulary that if I am not careful, I will become numb to the truth and reason why I celebrate this time of year. I definitely do not want to become numb to the greatest time and gift in history.

With an intense focus to think about the reason of the past few days, I am so grateful for Jesus Christ and his obedience to the plan of God, the Father. I cannot even begin to understand the depth of what Jesus went through in prayer, through the whips, through the beatings, through the hit of each nail. He did it all for me.

Not too many people know my story of knowing Jesus. After being a Christian for so long and being a leader amidst ministries, it is often times just assumed that my testimony belonged to God and his forgiveness. No one really asks because today I serve Him and know Him well.

The truth is I have often times hid my testimony because it did not seem flashy or so messed up that God's grace and mercy was huge. I was not involved in drugs, alcohol, or impure relationships when I gave my life to Christ. I was not the disobedient or rebellious child. I pretty much was laid back in life to just go with the flow. If I was told to do something, I pretty much did it without too much fuss. I was the smart one. I was the good one. I was the goody-little-two-shoes girl. In most people's minds, I was doing good and therefore I would not need a Savior. But behind the smiles, I was lost, alone, and scared. I was trying to find my place in this world and often times told I was not enough. That is where my testimony begins.

Even though I pretty much played by the rules of life, my parents, and school, all my good deeds and attitude did not earn my way into heaven or God's good graces. Despite all the good I had done or was doing, it would never be enough to pay the price that I owed. Despite all the good I could do, I was still empty. I still needed a Savior. I needed Him so much.

And you know what? I did not have to look to far to find Him. He had always been with me and when I finally took notice, I found Him standing right next to me, pursuing me with His amazing love and compassion, offer the gifts of grace and mercy and forgiveness if I would only accept. Accept I did.

Now almost seventeen years later on Easter Sunday my heart is full of gratitude for Jesus, the cross, for the resurrection, and for salvation. Can I truly say that God delivered me from addictions, from alcohol, from impure relationships? Yes and no. After I allowed God to have my life, I believe that God was my shield who protected me from making choices that would have destroyed me. What I also know is that God saved me from the depression that gripped my mind, from the loneliness that surrounded my heart, from the hate that burned inside, from the fear that immobilized me, and the despair that overwhelmed me.

Today as I praised and worship God, I was filled with such thankfulness and praise. He saved me. He gave me life. He gave me and is giving me abundant life. I serve a great God who gave His son and raised Him up from the grave. Today I love and serve a Risen Savior who loves me in return. That is the Easter gift.