The week flew with amazing speed that it seems somewhat unreal that I am already at the airport to return home once again. My week was filled with such activity that my brain is still wrapping itself around all the events of the week. But it was such a great week!
My nephew was so much fun. All he wanted was time with his “Auntie Kara.” I will admit I spoiled him just a tad. Hopefully he won’t drive too many people crazy with talk of his new Hulk toy and not hit too many people with his new green light saber. (I could not stop myself. I had to get him the toys. That is what I am suppose to do, right? I am his aunt.) I also saw my new niece Audrey and my other nephew Braedin. I loved just holding Audrey after seeing so many pictures of her. Lunches with friends and movie nights…it was an awesome week.
There are two things that I will take with me from this trip. One of them I am overwhelmed at its truth and the other one is a confirmation that is still settling deep inside. The first truth is how loved I am by the people I know. I am overwhelmed by the willingness of others to spend time with me and the desire of others who wanted to meet up with me. Truthfully, I love people and hanging out with them. So I have not thought twice about their feelings towards me. I do not see myself as more special than the person next to me so this past week was so amazing as hugs, requests, smiles, joy were expressed towards me. I wish my vacation extended longer than just this week but I am leaving Des Moines feeling so loved and special.
The second thing was the realization that Des Moines is not home anymore. I have lived in Iowa for twenty-eight years of my life and lived over fifteen years in Des Moines. I knew coming back would be a weird experience as familiarity would be around every corner yet something new would also exist. I was not fully expecting the sense of knowing that I was not home to come over me the moment I landed at the airport. This past week was fun as I visited old haunts of mine, eating at restaurants that are no longer available to me, and seeing familiar faces, yet deep inside I knew that I was no longer home. God had prepared my heart, mind, and soul for this transition. When I resigned over a year ago, it was at God’s guidance that I did so. I moved forward in the path that he has designed for me. I realized that no matter where I go in this life, home will always be the place that God has led me. Granted I would not have chosen California as my first choice of home but God’s peace rests deep inside at the truth that He led me there. This place is now my home. Now, the time has come for the major move ahead and whatever lies ahead.
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Grey sheets of water.
One thing that I miss very much is the rumbling noise of the darken skies. California has rain yet it does not have the dark, gathering clouds that announce the beginning of momentary or lasting sheets of grey that pour from the skies. Last night, I heard the gentle rumble of the approaching thunderstorm. Excitement grew in me as the noise increased and the storm came closer and closer. I love thunderstorms.
I headed out to meet up with a friend when I saw an amazing sight. The sun had not yet retired for the night and it was hanging low in the horizon. Yet the skies above were dark and brooding, casting a night feel so early in the evening. I drove west to meet my friend when I caught a glimpse of an unusual site…a deep gray sky with its announcing storm and an orange-glowing sun pushing through the clouds to grant forth its last rays before the horizon called it to bed. It was so unusual yet vibrant that it caught my attention, which truly was not good since I was driving through rain and the rain was falling hard. How I wish I could have had my camera to take that shot!
I headed out to meet up with a friend when I saw an amazing sight. The sun had not yet retired for the night and it was hanging low in the horizon. Yet the skies above were dark and brooding, casting a night feel so early in the evening. I drove west to meet my friend when I caught a glimpse of an unusual site…a deep gray sky with its announcing storm and an orange-glowing sun pushing through the clouds to grant forth its last rays before the horizon called it to bed. It was so unusual yet vibrant that it caught my attention, which truly was not good since I was driving through rain and the rain was falling hard. How I wish I could have had my camera to take that shot!
Vacation blurs.
June 24th, 2008
I made it to the fair Midwest city of Des Moines. My flights were really good and quick. I even landed early in Des Moines and was able to arrive at my brother’s house in time for dinner. I was lucky to get a window seat on my flight from Minneapolis and Des Moines. As we began our descent into the area, I began to pear anxiously out the window, hoping to see familiar landmarks. It did not take long for the site below me to become known and I excitedly began to point out various sites.
This might sound crazy to some but the sight when I landed was beautiful. To the north I saw the dark grey-blue clouds of a typical thunderstorm while the sight to the south was clear, blue skies with sun streaming down to the earth. But the most magnificent sight was a rainbow that painted the darkness with its spray of color. Now this rainbow did not just peek through the clouds or dot a small section of the sky. No, this rainbow was a full arc stretching from the west to the east, vibrant in its display of colors. I was just in awe. It was beautiful.
The airport personnel was quick in the work for by the time I reached the luggage area, the luggage from our flight was already traveling on the conveyor belt and I quickly found mine. I headed to the car rental to receive the keys to the car, headed out to the parking lot, loaded my suitcase and headed on my way.
I pulled up to my brother’s house, dragged myself to the front door, heard the familiar sound of their dog Gio, and walked in the door. The first thing I heard was a voice chanting, “Auntie Kara is here, Auntie Kara is here.” My nephew was jumping up and down with excitement that I had finally arrived. Then he gave me my hug!
Sunday went by in a blur. I went to my old home church and I never made it into service. I kept getting a few feet before another friend spotted me. It was so good to see everyone and give them hugs and play catch up.
I still have plenty of week left.
I made it to the fair Midwest city of Des Moines. My flights were really good and quick. I even landed early in Des Moines and was able to arrive at my brother’s house in time for dinner. I was lucky to get a window seat on my flight from Minneapolis and Des Moines. As we began our descent into the area, I began to pear anxiously out the window, hoping to see familiar landmarks. It did not take long for the site below me to become known and I excitedly began to point out various sites.
This might sound crazy to some but the sight when I landed was beautiful. To the north I saw the dark grey-blue clouds of a typical thunderstorm while the sight to the south was clear, blue skies with sun streaming down to the earth. But the most magnificent sight was a rainbow that painted the darkness with its spray of color. Now this rainbow did not just peek through the clouds or dot a small section of the sky. No, this rainbow was a full arc stretching from the west to the east, vibrant in its display of colors. I was just in awe. It was beautiful.
The airport personnel was quick in the work for by the time I reached the luggage area, the luggage from our flight was already traveling on the conveyor belt and I quickly found mine. I headed to the car rental to receive the keys to the car, headed out to the parking lot, loaded my suitcase and headed on my way.
I pulled up to my brother’s house, dragged myself to the front door, heard the familiar sound of their dog Gio, and walked in the door. The first thing I heard was a voice chanting, “Auntie Kara is here, Auntie Kara is here.” My nephew was jumping up and down with excitement that I had finally arrived. Then he gave me my hug!
Sunday went by in a blur. I went to my old home church and I never made it into service. I kept getting a few feet before another friend spotted me. It was so good to see everyone and give them hugs and play catch up.
I still have plenty of week left.
Sunday, June 22, 2008
Waiting for the start.
Arising out of the fog of the land of dreams, I heard the click of my alarm clock as the set time for my day started. Shaking off the fading memories of my misty thoughts, I struggled to get up, despite the knowing reason for the early morning alarm. I was heading back, back to the past, back to a time that I once lived and breathed every day for most of my life. I was going to Des Moines.
Rushing through my morning routine and packing the last minute items, I was very aware of the approaching minutes of my departure to San Francisco. I heard the rap of fingers on my door as I quickly hid in my closet to finish dressing. I knew the time was near. My father would be waiting downstairs ready to give me a hard time if I was a few minutes late. I take his teasing in jest because my father is known to be late at times as well.
With suitcase in hand, backpack slung over the shoulder, I went to the car. The drive over was with ease and the land that I barely set eyes on rose before me. It was not long before I saw the stretch of blue-gray that marked the south end of the bay, announcing my arrival to the fair and exciting city of San Francisco and thus bringing me to the point of transportation that will take me on the first leg of my journey.
The airport is fairly quiet for this early morning. Passengers are scattered here and there but it is not crowded or overwhelming for the moment. Security was a breeze and I flew right on through in a few minutes. I did set off the alarm because I forgot that my cell phone was in my pocket. But other than that, I was through and went to find my gate.
Now, I sit in the row of open seats by my gate. I have another hour before I can board my flight. I have still another flight to catch at the end of this one. But soon, I will be in my brother’s house, wrapped in the arms of a little boy who has captured my heart since the day he was born. I am looking forward to my Ashton-squeeze.
Rushing through my morning routine and packing the last minute items, I was very aware of the approaching minutes of my departure to San Francisco. I heard the rap of fingers on my door as I quickly hid in my closet to finish dressing. I knew the time was near. My father would be waiting downstairs ready to give me a hard time if I was a few minutes late. I take his teasing in jest because my father is known to be late at times as well.
With suitcase in hand, backpack slung over the shoulder, I went to the car. The drive over was with ease and the land that I barely set eyes on rose before me. It was not long before I saw the stretch of blue-gray that marked the south end of the bay, announcing my arrival to the fair and exciting city of San Francisco and thus bringing me to the point of transportation that will take me on the first leg of my journey.
The airport is fairly quiet for this early morning. Passengers are scattered here and there but it is not crowded or overwhelming for the moment. Security was a breeze and I flew right on through in a few minutes. I did set off the alarm because I forgot that my cell phone was in my pocket. But other than that, I was through and went to find my gate.
Now, I sit in the row of open seats by my gate. I have another hour before I can board my flight. I have still another flight to catch at the end of this one. But soon, I will be in my brother’s house, wrapped in the arms of a little boy who has captured my heart since the day he was born. I am looking forward to my Ashton-squeeze.
Thursday, June 05, 2008
Praise or Pout.
Everyday I discover that I have a choice on the attitude that I want to have for the day. Some people do not think that we do but we do. We can choose our attitude and response to the events in our lives.
As a Christian, my desire is to be like Christ and live His example in everything I do and say. Easier said than done. The desire to be like Christ and actually act it out on a regular basis is tough. Many days my attitude of my selfish nature collides with the attitude of an eternal Saviour.
This past Saturday was another collision between my human nature and my pursuit for the divine. I had just arrived at my weekend job and the new schedule was up for the MONTH! I was not happy with the shifts I was given. I work two jobs so some weeks I work seven days a week and after awhile I just get tired. Last Saturday I was tired after working over 40 hours and six days that week between the two jobs. And both my jobs are totally customer service related so I am constantly dealing with customers, their requests and sometimes their lovely attitudes. To rejuvanate myself, I need moments to myself in order to be ready to serve.
So when I read the schedule, I was so irritated. Come on, my manager knows that I work another job and she should take that into consideration when making the schedule, right? I was complaining to a fellow co-worker when I was stopped in the middle of my conversation with the thought that I could either praise God or I could selfishly pout. (Don't you just love it when God throws a lesson right into your face?) So I stopped my tired, selfish tirade and choose to praise God that I had the extra hours which means I would make a little extra money that I thought which would help pay for my vacation home. I felt better and went to work.
Not ten minutes later was that same attitude pressed when I had to help customers who had no idea how to use a computer, how to find CD's or I had to let them into the bathroom. And that attitude was tested again a few days later when my schedule was changed and I was given another shift in an already crazy week.
I know it is not easy to praise God when I am tired or stressed. I know that it is not easy to praise God when the path does not go my way and I would rather pout in defiance and self-righteous than praise God that He is still on the throne no matter what is going on. But I find out that when I praise God for the blessings He has given me and praise Him just because He is God, my day and my attitude are so much better and I am more open to allow God to use me to touch another person's life.
So I will wake up today and I will make a decision. Will I praise or will I pout?
As a Christian, my desire is to be like Christ and live His example in everything I do and say. Easier said than done. The desire to be like Christ and actually act it out on a regular basis is tough. Many days my attitude of my selfish nature collides with the attitude of an eternal Saviour.
This past Saturday was another collision between my human nature and my pursuit for the divine. I had just arrived at my weekend job and the new schedule was up for the MONTH! I was not happy with the shifts I was given. I work two jobs so some weeks I work seven days a week and after awhile I just get tired. Last Saturday I was tired after working over 40 hours and six days that week between the two jobs. And both my jobs are totally customer service related so I am constantly dealing with customers, their requests and sometimes their lovely attitudes. To rejuvanate myself, I need moments to myself in order to be ready to serve.
So when I read the schedule, I was so irritated. Come on, my manager knows that I work another job and she should take that into consideration when making the schedule, right? I was complaining to a fellow co-worker when I was stopped in the middle of my conversation with the thought that I could either praise God or I could selfishly pout. (Don't you just love it when God throws a lesson right into your face?) So I stopped my tired, selfish tirade and choose to praise God that I had the extra hours which means I would make a little extra money that I thought which would help pay for my vacation home. I felt better and went to work.
Not ten minutes later was that same attitude pressed when I had to help customers who had no idea how to use a computer, how to find CD's or I had to let them into the bathroom. And that attitude was tested again a few days later when my schedule was changed and I was given another shift in an already crazy week.
I know it is not easy to praise God when I am tired or stressed. I know that it is not easy to praise God when the path does not go my way and I would rather pout in defiance and self-righteous than praise God that He is still on the throne no matter what is going on. But I find out that when I praise God for the blessings He has given me and praise Him just because He is God, my day and my attitude are so much better and I am more open to allow God to use me to touch another person's life.
So I will wake up today and I will make a decision. Will I praise or will I pout?
Wednesday, June 04, 2008
Switchfoot -
Loved this movie and I really like this song! AFter living in Iowa for all of my life, I feel like this new path in front of me in California is my home. Wherever I am with God, it is home.
An interesting day at work.
I am not sure if this problem is as big as it is here, but one problem that businesses have around here are bad $100 bills. Somehow someone has learned how to wash the ink off a $5 bill and the reprint the bill as a $100. I had heard about such bills because several businesses have had trouble with those bills but never saw one or touched one. That all changed this week.
I was helping a customer and I was counting the cash this customer gave me. I noticed that one of the $100 bills seemed darker and the paper did not feel right. So after inspection, I noticed that the thread that ran through the paper was marked as a USA FIVE and the watermark had the profile of Abe Lincoln.
I held in my hand a counterfeit $100 dollar bill. Not a typical thing to happen although that was the second one in a week. Sometimes the bill is so good that it is not caught until the Federal Reserve. It was cool to view it and find the faults with it. I did not know that Ben and Abe were even friends to hang out on the same piece of paper but it is also scary to know that those bills are floating around in the community.
It was an interesting moment in my normal business day.
I was helping a customer and I was counting the cash this customer gave me. I noticed that one of the $100 bills seemed darker and the paper did not feel right. So after inspection, I noticed that the thread that ran through the paper was marked as a USA FIVE and the watermark had the profile of Abe Lincoln.
I held in my hand a counterfeit $100 dollar bill. Not a typical thing to happen although that was the second one in a week. Sometimes the bill is so good that it is not caught until the Federal Reserve. It was cool to view it and find the faults with it. I did not know that Ben and Abe were even friends to hang out on the same piece of paper but it is also scary to know that those bills are floating around in the community.
It was an interesting moment in my normal business day.
Monday, June 02, 2008
my desire by jeremy camp
Besides being one of my favorite artists, I love this message of this song especially now as I continue forth into the path that God has laid before me.
Sunday, May 25, 2008
To the Fallen and the Brave.
In memory of the military men and women who lost their lives, I say “I remember you.” Their sacrifice and service is not forgotten from the very first war to the battles we still fight today. Because of their willingness to serve and protect not only this nation but the truth of our nation, I live with a freedom that I shall not take for granted.
To the military men and women alive today, I say “Thank you.” You chose to serve with the understanding that battles and wars were a possibility. You have left family, friends, and futures to keep the rest of us safe. Those of us who have not served cannot always understand that the time you served does not die away when you arrive home for you carry with you fallen comrades, memories, and classified information that will last your lifetime. Thank you for serving and may the rest of us show you the respect and honor you are due for serving our country.
Today, I want to honor one particular sailor who took an oath to serve his country. At a time when life was not the best, his orders came through and he honored his word by accepting his orders. He left behind a family but he went. I am proud to call this sailor father and dad.
To Lt. Cdr. Phil Herrick, retired Naval Officer of the United States Navy. Served 23 years. Veteran of the Persian Gulf War, 1991. I am so proud of you!
To the military men and women alive today, I say “Thank you.” You chose to serve with the understanding that battles and wars were a possibility. You have left family, friends, and futures to keep the rest of us safe. Those of us who have not served cannot always understand that the time you served does not die away when you arrive home for you carry with you fallen comrades, memories, and classified information that will last your lifetime. Thank you for serving and may the rest of us show you the respect and honor you are due for serving our country.
Today, I want to honor one particular sailor who took an oath to serve his country. At a time when life was not the best, his orders came through and he honored his word by accepting his orders. He left behind a family but he went. I am proud to call this sailor father and dad.
To Lt. Cdr. Phil Herrick, retired Naval Officer of the United States Navy. Served 23 years. Veteran of the Persian Gulf War, 1991. I am so proud of you!
Sunday, May 18, 2008
School Update.
Okay...a lot has happened in the past few weeks regarding school. I have housing! I have a studio/loft apartment that is located near the school as campus housing. I am really excited about that bit of news. I get my own place! I can pull out my new dishes that I have not used yet. I can pull out a lot of things out of storage that has been boxed away since I moved here.
I received my financial aid package just this past week. Along side my scholarship, I have received a $1700 grant and eligibility for work study programs. God is so faithful. I will have to take out loans for the rest of the financial need but I am also believing that God will meet each need as it comes.
I have several scholarship applications out there and I am just waiting for the results of those. These scholarships range from $1000-$50,000, so I pray that I may be the recipient of one or some of them. But in any case, I praise God for His faithfulness to me and His power to meet every daily need.
Every day, graduate school becomes more and more a reality.
I received my financial aid package just this past week. Along side my scholarship, I have received a $1700 grant and eligibility for work study programs. God is so faithful. I will have to take out loans for the rest of the financial need but I am also believing that God will meet each need as it comes.
I have several scholarship applications out there and I am just waiting for the results of those. These scholarships range from $1000-$50,000, so I pray that I may be the recipient of one or some of them. But in any case, I praise God for His faithfulness to me and His power to meet every daily need.
Every day, graduate school becomes more and more a reality.
Going Home.
I am so excited! I cannot wait. I am going home!!! At least just for a visit and since I have spent most of my life in Iowa, it will always be home. I finally got approval from my jobs, bought my tickets, and rented my car. I am on my way.
I cannot wait until I walk into my brother's house and call out a cheery "hello". I am expecting the sound of running feet and a small voice call out "Auntie Kara!" I cannot wait to wrap my arms around me nephew and tell him to give me a big squeeze. How I miss him.
I am also looking forward to seeing my friends' little girls, hanging out with my dear friends, and spending my time with my best friend. I get to hug and hold my new "niece" little Audrey. I get to play my piano that we left at my brother's and grab lunch with so many dear friends. I get to visit all my old haunts and places that California does not have.
One month and counting!!!
I cannot wait until I walk into my brother's house and call out a cheery "hello". I am expecting the sound of running feet and a small voice call out "Auntie Kara!" I cannot wait to wrap my arms around me nephew and tell him to give me a big squeeze. How I miss him.
I am also looking forward to seeing my friends' little girls, hanging out with my dear friends, and spending my time with my best friend. I get to hug and hold my new "niece" little Audrey. I get to play my piano that we left at my brother's and grab lunch with so many dear friends. I get to visit all my old haunts and places that California does not have.
One month and counting!!!
TCON: Prince Caspian
I was getting something out of the refrigerator last week when I noticed a piece of paper hanging on the door. I took a quick glance and realized that it was a Fandango reservation for Prince Caspian which opened this past weekend.
Shortly after I arrived home from work on Friday, I quickly changed clothes and my parents and I headed out the door. We made a night of it which means we bought pop and popcorn at the theater and settled into our sits, waiting for the lights to dim and the screen to light up with screen with the upcoming movie.
For some reason, my father choose to sit in the top row of seats, all the way back against the wall yet the theater was just the right size and the whole screen stretched before. The lights dim and the journey began.
Once again, the director, the producer and the actors put together an excellent film. The screenwriters did a great job of writing the script. There were so many references to faith, to God, to Jesus, to belief that it was encouraging, challenging, and entertaining all in one movie.
The last Narnia movie had an awesome scene of movie angles that I found awesome. I found another one in the new one. You will just have to watch the new one to discover it. See the movie!!!!
Shortly after I arrived home from work on Friday, I quickly changed clothes and my parents and I headed out the door. We made a night of it which means we bought pop and popcorn at the theater and settled into our sits, waiting for the lights to dim and the screen to light up with screen with the upcoming movie.
For some reason, my father choose to sit in the top row of seats, all the way back against the wall yet the theater was just the right size and the whole screen stretched before. The lights dim and the journey began.
Once again, the director, the producer and the actors put together an excellent film. The screenwriters did a great job of writing the script. There were so many references to faith, to God, to Jesus, to belief that it was encouraging, challenging, and entertaining all in one movie.
The last Narnia movie had an awesome scene of movie angles that I found awesome. I found another one in the new one. You will just have to watch the new one to discover it. See the movie!!!!
Monday, May 05, 2008
Morning Alarm
with dawning morn starts
your mewing cry
with gentle nudges
to awaken me you try
padded feet massage
my skin
while a gentle rumble
starts within
i reach my hand
to stroke your soft head
knowing that it is
time to get out of bed...
*dedicated to my cat Zach who decided he was hungry for his morning turkey so he woke me up
Made of Honor
So I have wanted to see this movie since the trailer aired several weeks ago. Two of my co-workers and friends were also interested in seeing the movie so after work on Saturday, we met up at the theatre and watched the movie.
A cross of “My Best Friend’s Wedding” and “Sweet Home Alabama”, this movie should be added to the shelf of great romantic comedies that will leave you believing in the fairy tales and an aching side from laughing throughout the whole movie.
I was very surprised at the opening scene of the movie as its content tied itself to a political scandal that is well known among the American people but what really caught my attention was the focus on marriage that this film portrayed. It is not often that Hollywood portrays marriage as something joyful and fulfilling but that is what this movie does. It is not often that a movie will portray the message that love can be based on a strong friendship, mutual interests, and shared times together rather than just raw sexual desire, but once again this movie portrays such an idea.
This movie does contain many sexual innuendos and references with several choice words, but I still give this movie two thumbs up.
A cross of “My Best Friend’s Wedding” and “Sweet Home Alabama”, this movie should be added to the shelf of great romantic comedies that will leave you believing in the fairy tales and an aching side from laughing throughout the whole movie.
I was very surprised at the opening scene of the movie as its content tied itself to a political scandal that is well known among the American people but what really caught my attention was the focus on marriage that this film portrayed. It is not often that Hollywood portrays marriage as something joyful and fulfilling but that is what this movie does. It is not often that a movie will portray the message that love can be based on a strong friendship, mutual interests, and shared times together rather than just raw sexual desire, but once again this movie portrays such an idea.
This movie does contain many sexual innuendos and references with several choice words, but I still give this movie two thumbs up.
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Rate my poem
So normally I am not one to toot my own horn but I have been getting a lot of requests from Poetry.com about my poem. Now you can rate it and if I get enough votes, I may win an iPod shuffle!
Click on the link and vote my poem, Chosen Nails!
Rate my poem, Go here
Click on the link and vote my poem, Chosen Nails!
Rate my poem, Go here
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Poetry.Com
Since hearing the news that I was accepted to graduate school, I have been researching scholarship opportunities to help pay the cost of school. One of the search engines used suggested Poetry.com for one the opportunities. I have listed my poems on Poetry.com before so I was well aware of the site. So I added a poem. Lo and behold, a day or two following the entry, I received noticed that my poem was accepted into a new volume that is being published. It is kind of cool.
The poem that will be published is one I posted on this site a few weeks ago. It is called "Chosen Nails." If you want to read more, you can go to Poetry.Com, type in my name, and click on the title of the poem.
The poem that will be published is one I posted on this site a few weeks ago. It is called "Chosen Nails." If you want to read more, you can go to Poetry.Com, type in my name, and click on the title of the poem.
Sunday, March 23, 2008
The Easter Gift.
Easter. Good Friday. Resurrection Sunday. After awhile those words can come so commonplace within my own vocabulary that if I am not careful, I will become numb to the truth and reason why I celebrate this time of year. I definitely do not want to become numb to the greatest time and gift in history.
With an intense focus to think about the reason of the past few days, I am so grateful for Jesus Christ and his obedience to the plan of God, the Father. I cannot even begin to understand the depth of what Jesus went through in prayer, through the whips, through the beatings, through the hit of each nail. He did it all for me.
Not too many people know my story of knowing Jesus. After being a Christian for so long and being a leader amidst ministries, it is often times just assumed that my testimony belonged to God and his forgiveness. No one really asks because today I serve Him and know Him well.
The truth is I have often times hid my testimony because it did not seem flashy or so messed up that God's grace and mercy was huge. I was not involved in drugs, alcohol, or impure relationships when I gave my life to Christ. I was not the disobedient or rebellious child. I pretty much was laid back in life to just go with the flow. If I was told to do something, I pretty much did it without too much fuss. I was the smart one. I was the good one. I was the goody-little-two-shoes girl. In most people's minds, I was doing good and therefore I would not need a Savior. But behind the smiles, I was lost, alone, and scared. I was trying to find my place in this world and often times told I was not enough. That is where my testimony begins.
Even though I pretty much played by the rules of life, my parents, and school, all my good deeds and attitude did not earn my way into heaven or God's good graces. Despite all the good I had done or was doing, it would never be enough to pay the price that I owed. Despite all the good I could do, I was still empty. I still needed a Savior. I needed Him so much.
And you know what? I did not have to look to far to find Him. He had always been with me and when I finally took notice, I found Him standing right next to me, pursuing me with His amazing love and compassion, offer the gifts of grace and mercy and forgiveness if I would only accept. Accept I did.
Now almost seventeen years later on Easter Sunday my heart is full of gratitude for Jesus, the cross, for the resurrection, and for salvation. Can I truly say that God delivered me from addictions, from alcohol, from impure relationships? Yes and no. After I allowed God to have my life, I believe that God was my shield who protected me from making choices that would have destroyed me. What I also know is that God saved me from the depression that gripped my mind, from the loneliness that surrounded my heart, from the hate that burned inside, from the fear that immobilized me, and the despair that overwhelmed me.
Today as I praised and worship God, I was filled with such thankfulness and praise. He saved me. He gave me life. He gave me and is giving me abundant life. I serve a great God who gave His son and raised Him up from the grave. Today I love and serve a Risen Savior who loves me in return. That is the Easter gift.
With an intense focus to think about the reason of the past few days, I am so grateful for Jesus Christ and his obedience to the plan of God, the Father. I cannot even begin to understand the depth of what Jesus went through in prayer, through the whips, through the beatings, through the hit of each nail. He did it all for me.
Not too many people know my story of knowing Jesus. After being a Christian for so long and being a leader amidst ministries, it is often times just assumed that my testimony belonged to God and his forgiveness. No one really asks because today I serve Him and know Him well.
The truth is I have often times hid my testimony because it did not seem flashy or so messed up that God's grace and mercy was huge. I was not involved in drugs, alcohol, or impure relationships when I gave my life to Christ. I was not the disobedient or rebellious child. I pretty much was laid back in life to just go with the flow. If I was told to do something, I pretty much did it without too much fuss. I was the smart one. I was the good one. I was the goody-little-two-shoes girl. In most people's minds, I was doing good and therefore I would not need a Savior. But behind the smiles, I was lost, alone, and scared. I was trying to find my place in this world and often times told I was not enough. That is where my testimony begins.
Even though I pretty much played by the rules of life, my parents, and school, all my good deeds and attitude did not earn my way into heaven or God's good graces. Despite all the good I had done or was doing, it would never be enough to pay the price that I owed. Despite all the good I could do, I was still empty. I still needed a Savior. I needed Him so much.
And you know what? I did not have to look to far to find Him. He had always been with me and when I finally took notice, I found Him standing right next to me, pursuing me with His amazing love and compassion, offer the gifts of grace and mercy and forgiveness if I would only accept. Accept I did.
Now almost seventeen years later on Easter Sunday my heart is full of gratitude for Jesus, the cross, for the resurrection, and for salvation. Can I truly say that God delivered me from addictions, from alcohol, from impure relationships? Yes and no. After I allowed God to have my life, I believe that God was my shield who protected me from making choices that would have destroyed me. What I also know is that God saved me from the depression that gripped my mind, from the loneliness that surrounded my heart, from the hate that burned inside, from the fear that immobilized me, and the despair that overwhelmed me.
Today as I praised and worship God, I was filled with such thankfulness and praise. He saved me. He gave me life. He gave me and is giving me abundant life. I serve a great God who gave His son and raised Him up from the grave. Today I love and serve a Risen Savior who loves me in return. That is the Easter gift.
One Answer Received.
After months of waiting and knocking on doors, I finally received word this past week that has now made the future path very known. I received a call from an admissions personnel at Fuller, informing me that I have been accepted into the MS program for Marital and Family Therapy.
I was highly expecting that phone call concerning that information. Almost everyone I knew kept telling me that I was a shoo-in and that I would be accepted without hesitation. But part of me kept holding back until I heard the official word because I know that God could have another plan.
But I also received news that I was not expecting. Along with the news of my acceptance, I was given the news that I was a recipient of one their scholarships. The value blew me away for it was not a small amount. All I could do is stand in awe and excitement at the news. God went beyond what I was expecting and praise Him daily for the news.
I was highly expecting that phone call concerning that information. Almost everyone I knew kept telling me that I was a shoo-in and that I would be accepted without hesitation. But part of me kept holding back until I heard the official word because I know that God could have another plan.
But I also received news that I was not expecting. Along with the news of my acceptance, I was given the news that I was a recipient of one their scholarships. The value blew me away for it was not a small amount. All I could do is stand in awe and excitement at the news. God went beyond what I was expecting and praise Him daily for the news.
Chosen Nails
Passion burning
In silent obedience
As whips whistled
Through the air
Snapping and cracking
Lines went taut
Ripping skin and bone
Being pulled back
Evil taunts of hatred
Stirred the air
While weeping wails whirled
amidst desperate pleas
But battle of love
Pushed through the pain
The unknown journey
Of grace and truth
As fists pound
The face of love
Crowned thorns
Embraced eternal wisdom
Crushing beam
Of death upon the back
Love pouring from
Each faltering step
This journey began
Before the nails were picked
To pierce the hands
Of one man above
Thank you Lord Jesus for dying for me, taking the pain and sin upon the horrific death of the cross so that I can have eternal life with you. Your gift of salvation and grace is immeasurable but so precious to me.
In silent obedience
As whips whistled
Through the air
Snapping and cracking
Lines went taut
Ripping skin and bone
Being pulled back
Evil taunts of hatred
Stirred the air
While weeping wails whirled
amidst desperate pleas
But battle of love
Pushed through the pain
The unknown journey
Of grace and truth
As fists pound
The face of love
Crowned thorns
Embraced eternal wisdom
Crushing beam
Of death upon the back
Love pouring from
Each faltering step
This journey began
Before the nails were picked
To pierce the hands
Of one man above
Thank you Lord Jesus for dying for me, taking the pain and sin upon the horrific death of the cross so that I can have eternal life with you. Your gift of salvation and grace is immeasurable but so precious to me.
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